A newlywed couple moves into their new house.
One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says,
"Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"
The husband says, "What do I look like, Mr. Plumber?"
A few days go by, and he comes home from work and his wife says,
"Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new Battery.
Could you change it for me?"
He says: "What do I look like, Mr. Goodwrench?"
Another few days go by, and it's raining pretty hard.
The wife finds a leak in the roof. She says,
"Honey, there's a leak on the roof! Can you please fix it?"
He says, "What do I look like, Bob Vila?"
The next day the husband comes home,
and the roof is fixed. So is the plumbing and the car Battery is replaced.
He asks his wife what happened.
"Oh, I had a handyman come in and fix them," she says.
"Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls.
Wife says: "Nothing." He said he'd do it for free
if I either baked him a cake or slept with him."
"Uh, well, what kind of cake did you make?" asks the husband.
"What do I look like," she says,
My friend met a prostitute and after agreeing on the fee per hour they went up to her room and smack assed best sex and after sleeping most of the night he says he woke up in a wet bed, soaking wet and no babe and an Mt wallet !
I asked him, Holly Shit how much did she overcharge you !
Little Johnny goes into a Clock store by accident and asks if they sell Potato Chips. The assistant says “Sorry sir, we don’t. We have Battery powered Clocks, We have battery chips, electrical clock chips, wind up chips. In fact I’ve never heard of a potato chip Clock.” Lil Johnny asks, "what the heck does a Battery have to do with a Bag of Chips ?" Man Asks, "why are you even in my Store ?"
Lil Johnny says, " why the hell do you sell Battery Chips, Wind up Chips and Clock Chips and not sell Potato Chips"! Man says, "This is the Smart Chip age !" Lil Johnny says, "seems to stick with potato chips is a seller !" "You have no Customers, just me !"
After getting the car out of the shop for a new Battery,
a School teacher driver is on an Expressway with a 90 mile per hour speed limit !
She notices no one is driving at the speed limit, instead 20 - 30 MPH faster.
So she starts driving 110 mph.
Ten minutes later an Adult Lil Johnny, now a LEO pulls her over !
The School Teacher says, "everyone is speeding out here, I can't believe you busted me !"
Well; Adult Lil Johnny, now a LEO thinks for a moment and Reply's.
"Have you ever been fishing and caught all the Fish ?"